Monday, September 17, 2012

ramblings..

I always have so much running through my brain that I want to share and then I look at this blank page and get so intimidated!

Sometimes I feel that it is so hard to put into words what one really feels or thinks about. To write for me is to slow down, to study, and reflect.. So I guess I'll start with what is on my mind now.

Anger. I have read and fully agree that "anger is the anesthetic of the mind." -C.S. Lewis. Out of it we build walls of self-protection and subsequently begin to hurt others out of it. Anger blinds us to anything else but what has hurt us, and allows us to lose sight of what is ultimately important. Even if our anger is just, it does not set us, or the other party, free.
This is what I have been discovering...

It sucks that most of the time we learn the hard way. I sometimes wish that I was perfect, not lacking in understanding, self control, or wisdom. But here I am, trekking thought this messy life the hard way. Hurting myself, and others, hoping deeply that somehow I am saved by His grace.

However, once the anger dies down, and forgiveness begins to take root, isn't the truth that all we really want is redemption and reconciliation? Don't we simply long for peace and unity? All hippie talk aside, I realize that all I truly desire is His will.. whatever that is.. to mold my life. I am a shifting sand without His forgiving, guiding hand in my life.


On completely different note, a good friend and I discovered a sweet new little place to study in downtown Dallas... it's a small picture but isn't it cute?! I thought so too.


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

It's September.. !

Oh me oh my, fall time is around the corner once again, and I must write. Fall is by far one of my favorite seasons... I am so excited for fall color, scents and flavors! And speaking of seasons changing, I am now getting nestled into a new surrounding, a new home- Dallas. The city is big, and a little intimidating, but I am excited to find my little niches. My lovely friends, Mark and Rebekah Wampler have graciously welcomed me into their home, and I now have a new biggest fan- Davie, their loving pup.

So, here I am, yet another move, another change.. I am learning that in the midst of the swirling chaos of a storm, I might as well position myself in the eye, seek what peace I can, and wait it out.. At some point the storm has to subside, and the rebuilding will hopefully be stronger than before.

It's funny really, even in the darkest hour, during the most incredible storm, little rays of hope and love show themselves. For instance, being in Dallas, I will be able to help my cousin and his wife with their new little baby girl. I will be their closest family. I have been graced with the opportunity to re-kindle precious friendships and make some pretty awesome new ones. God graces me with love even when I feel like I don't deserve it or want it, without restraint. He loves even the ugliest, most wretched me I can be, He loves me.