tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1628640682330294362024-02-07T19:10:36.394-08:00Small Graces..in infinite places.brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-46762258517819213942016-11-07T19:29:00.000-08:002016-12-10T20:53:16.848-08:00Mushroom Man. One lonely Monday (I have Sundays/ Mondays off), following a breath-taking, and frosty hike up to Hope Lake, nestled between Telluride and Silverton, Colorado, I decided to try out a natural hot springs I'd heard of outside of Rico. I use my handy-dandy GPS, park, and being a planner this time, change into my swim suit and take the chilly walk to the springs. I'm alone at this point, and it is lovely... I may have tried the skinny dipping thing because, hello, I'm in the mountains in a natural hot springs- alone. But thankfully I get a feeling its time to put it back on- just in time for a STRANGE looking couple to walk up. I try to avoid calling people weird or strange because, who am I to talk? But I mean these ones were borderline scary... Thankfully, they decided to try back later. Whew, dodged that one.. <br />
<br />
Five minutes later, I am joined by a seemingly friendly gentleman in his late 30s/ early 40s. I have a cap on, so as he undresses across the springs, I keep it tipped downward to avoid being an unashamed and complete creeper. I watch clothes drop around his ankles, wondering what exactly is in store for me. He walks over to the pool, and as he descends, I can't help but notice his very bare buns. "Alright, this is a little awkward considering it's just he and I, but at least the water covers him," I think to myself. After introducing ourselves and beginning to chat for a bit, he apparently becomes warm and decides to prop himself along the ledge of the pool. Now, as easy as it would be to lay an arm across his leg, or position himself in a slightly more conservative manner, this man had to show his pride and joy by sitting with one leg propped up side-saddle style. Whilst attempting to not look directly at his now buoyantly floating member, seemingly waving hello to me with every gentle wave, I continue chatting with the man, also attempting to not notice his not-quite-discreet-enough attempt to warm his member with a quick and fluid swipe of the hand, swishing warm water over the thing, as the air had a slight bite to it. This pattern continued in 5 minute cycles, always with the same sitting position. The best part to all of this though, was his continuous musings about mushrooms. He explained that he grew mushrooms, hunted mushrooms, and shared with interested pupils his wealth of knowledge about this extraordinary fungi. I had to laugh to myself at one point, as I could not help but think, "This man won't shut up about mushrooms, and I only wish he'd kindly put his away."brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-44319208641629350802014-11-18T21:35:00.001-08:002014-11-18T21:57:03.247-08:00My summer in pictures..<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">They're a little out of order, and I've decided to let them be self-explanatory.. let's just say, it was a good one :)</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcV4U7QOuxKUiXMC-oWXPPYBczZrjxCZeetSlvLprXo-atpfsdMwhvUZRcxpBUr6ky9nS1VK-BHgjTYavLQNhDHFkq0Nh5pGz0pdN5Ru3XgDWHJb8l5_Lde9WayTe9yKDkoz6YdYc5JLn/s640/blogger-image--1165579307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><br /></span><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDcV4U7QOuxKUiXMC-oWXPPYBczZrjxCZeetSlvLprXo-atpfsdMwhvUZRcxpBUr6ky9nS1VK-BHgjTYavLQNhDHFkq0Nh5pGz0pdN5Ru3XgDWHJb8l5_Lde9WayTe9yKDkoz6YdYc5JLn/s640/blogger-image--1165579307.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ywr1MmQoF4wFOpaNYBLC4vwfE424WqTsvaRIkE6SV88Ah7bu7hQ4vAtBMloRrVRgNlih-NWQ0-LaUUky05CS8V6Kb-Za4gWT2ad5bEejzHCwdTKA7VxlvjJFcGqQs8cZ-_jwnzI0y8RD/s1600/bren.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ywr1MmQoF4wFOpaNYBLC4vwfE424WqTsvaRIkE6SV88Ah7bu7hQ4vAtBMloRrVRgNlih-NWQ0-LaUUky05CS8V6Kb-Za4gWT2ad5bEejzHCwdTKA7VxlvjJFcGqQs8cZ-_jwnzI0y8RD/s1600/bren.jpg" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvsBbIphCGzaSUFEt_x5ayElAbtN1pTsetGaLzofpC9VfWWidEYwbxPf8DK9kO3ExOCvHenl1D7RblQ3Pl0q3MmR-xRDTk6cFhOkTZkdK7O0nq8MTdVUHjmensLYK9RcAti1G_TUitThe/s1600/blogger-image-204060586.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvsBbIphCGzaSUFEt_x5ayElAbtN1pTsetGaLzofpC9VfWWidEYwbxPf8DK9kO3ExOCvHenl1D7RblQ3Pl0q3MmR-xRDTk6cFhOkTZkdK7O0nq8MTdVUHjmensLYK9RcAti1G_TUitThe/s1600/blogger-image-204060586.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgjCxg2h4tbLyG4i40F7b98OeAVQWaIvNPVUOzOhS9gGmiF_-7Ko4pY5TbqEN1OUsg9PUhc-lnG1woGcJmObhZ_QEqfGciSOS9sAB4O0Q2rtdvCdZyCUVLKZ7tY6IufHAz-zpZBRJLwkL/s1600/blogger-image--633840319.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrgjCxg2h4tbLyG4i40F7b98OeAVQWaIvNPVUOzOhS9gGmiF_-7Ko4pY5TbqEN1OUsg9PUhc-lnG1woGcJmObhZ_QEqfGciSOS9sAB4O0Q2rtdvCdZyCUVLKZ7tY6IufHAz-zpZBRJLwkL/s640/blogger-image--633840319.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiybNPcFS1G8FCnwC3DO-IRARV9ktNnGVXnCVweHqj3yjabzTKkuzF-T17QgeXe3hyphenhyphenUDDauCGnJxZyR59CNUwvqKRRYyU6eK2HU6M1j_QdtOovIplFK5r6KZJLBOSYWSRAyn5xHlr1ZlAtC/s640/blogger-image--1861458258.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjobE6_nBvjylchXZX9FQHtqOkw4-p4UsS91lBqPidYFT46iDOZbsyrgtGTzliYtZfdYLjOIbR8dBevIFcAUra3_rHkJcUA6Gwx66ID1U5iOrOau30xnspVZrMoIukoVHYDjKZ99dUdleMI/s640/blogger-image--440453771.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8217CCO871jb0AXxXQE4UdDa9grmQG9ojUSK9DmQmMYVDeo9dlpZjujYrmP3fwzSwhf2ALwYHYTzEmwRuMmCzbzndtMGmn_qenPDh2uh1B7XbesIfLP9GXceQ3R4SuArEibq7R26vuIAL/s1600/blogger-image--799697145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8217CCO871jb0AXxXQE4UdDa9grmQG9ojUSK9DmQmMYVDeo9dlpZjujYrmP3fwzSwhf2ALwYHYTzEmwRuMmCzbzndtMGmn_qenPDh2uh1B7XbesIfLP9GXceQ3R4SuArEibq7R26vuIAL/s640/blogger-image--799697145.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AjWkuf1OxfPyPByuEZvgC0K_MSSPk84EvO3-0Ivk2Wvn5wcCR8htjmCHCs8CJz4FQBvAWYgjhEuxWjLaIo9Ed-6ijCzdMonYzIZk_Anq2NRUfmhSeUoXzAM-3eH2Le9Z66CMpH6el1YF/s1600/blogger-image-1222327924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AjWkuf1OxfPyPByuEZvgC0K_MSSPk84EvO3-0Ivk2Wvn5wcCR8htjmCHCs8CJz4FQBvAWYgjhEuxWjLaIo9Ed-6ijCzdMonYzIZk_Anq2NRUfmhSeUoXzAM-3eH2Le9Z66CMpH6el1YF/s640/blogger-image-1222327924.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AjWkuf1OxfPyPByuEZvgC0K_MSSPk84EvO3-0Ivk2Wvn5wcCR8htjmCHCs8CJz4FQBvAWYgjhEuxWjLaIo9Ed-6ijCzdMonYzIZk_Anq2NRUfmhSeUoXzAM-3eH2Le9Z66CMpH6el1YF/s1600/blogger-image-1222327924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAoM6h5BFm_6awX5DYM6oT9u5alrfpFg-t0kcj28nOfkZ2co-mOxRnnt3DaFH7qjgNeEosEjt6o1bkXquHp4puypAtnQlhzTiSZ2KiB_r6mRMj8HnCthAvNqxwWguTr-lYwtlvDRszuc8f/s640/blogger-image--782222078.jpg" /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivmcN9BfsEO2mI0hG1a2sP9F1ohBARkfU4tQGIf1Ozq7-qG0nkmJptuFAGJfdUr7jZSDlVxSoCm9ZOyUURbt3E0F7BFSw0cSirrABYJo5acxjoWElQHpCBcxt9HLw4jFF4ANoqTRhOm_Kh/s640/blogger-image-157212986.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQRrzzj-3Zt1lOWxMaGHm4A5gKtcvwX9itgcEKQ9M36n2rJJampe3r0ChVsB14dNcjxWpDicEwn0Nx4qhwF3uSzjIhhvoxJh4dcNCdG6RCZDrB72xQm5NHDT8z85L1lS7a0LGuQ6Y3mLH1/s640/blogger-image--2800055.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR3fA1BarSt_B-RckSpP-LNbdphuBFjUouPzfOjRJpbTyecLEcaRYp2_OaoRA091YakLsuI2kOKbNN-caCBvthTIDMcUJKtpha4nouX9paCli-oLcC1FJMuV59r3VxlP5JOBnJNbAxNoiR/s640/blogger-image--1350557457.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodj8U8WJa6ndDjur3OveuStjBsHI3bKJVLpXT7PTf5ocn1S2CZDO7hfjg-B1MZXzErlm-EoosrTSuGB78H1yFOqbdj57uPvlBMCME8t1AWA5myioHwLZEvVN8f1eamLI1FxVnIsUTtHQ0/s640/blogger-image--1639795128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh7k4R0rN4dJ-POkDSXTpkkecGsvPSQXhx3rooWs10x95X6Qh8vzxAvfuHQoKqDLpb_JoNY_KEw3z_jAS2DCnk5kFzQRMdZD7rrKAoYeNGM5VPCEko7sk1wsXAiZh11SbwZ_qo2Cnq4qMg/s640/blogger-image-140038128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh7k4R0rN4dJ-POkDSXTpkkecGsvPSQXhx3rooWs10x95X6Qh8vzxAvfuHQoKqDLpb_JoNY_KEw3z_jAS2DCnk5kFzQRMdZD7rrKAoYeNGM5VPCEko7sk1wsXAiZh11SbwZ_qo2Cnq4qMg/s640/blogger-image-140038128.jpg" /></a></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-77593794516622722082014-11-18T21:02:00.001-08:002014-11-18T21:16:42.288-08:00that love thang..<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's a typical evening. I've just gotten off work a couple hours ago, showered, and successfully dilly-dallied around until it's past time for me to go to bed. But instead, I want to write. I'm not sure what about though. It's not that I don't have enough, it's that I have too much. You know, like when you feel like you could burst with emotion and just want someone or something to hear you out for goodness sake. Well, here it goes.</span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Several ideas float through my head, and two very strong emotions make their presence in my chest. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Love <and pain>. Two-sides of the same coin. It's strange isn't it? And isn't interesting the way we've screwed it up? It possesses incomparable power, and is probably the greatest force on earth...</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/EjjA7mwVxxU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oh good, Merlin agrees with me.. (great movie btw).</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ANYWAY, it's no wonder in our imperfect, selfish world, we are constantly walking around hurting one another and being hurt. And the worst part is, we almost always hurt most the ones we love the most! The other Sunday, I went with some good friends to a church service in Manhattan. The sermon was spot on. He talked about human desires that we were created with, with intent to be fulfilled. For example, the desire for intimacy and greatness. We all want these things, but always try to fill in the "void" with something else...</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I can't help but feel that the desire we want most is to love and be loved. If we don't feel this it's the most soul crushing, empty feeling ever. The point of the sermon was to continually give these desires back to God so that He can fulfill them. I think we most often choose not to however, out of disbelief. We don't really believe God can do what He says.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
I think He can.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He never said life would be easy, or painless, but He did say He would always be here, ready to help us through it. Sometimes, we just need to allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel and cry out to God or maybe even be angry at Him, as long as we ultimately open our hearts and our hands back up to Him to receive His healing love. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's amazing the things we will do; the drugs we will ingest, the beautiful body we will mutilate, the bitter heart we will create, all in an effort to avoid pain. Maybe we just need to start believing that God can handle what we have to give Him. I think as soon as He begins to heal us, and we begin to loosen our grip on the offense or offender that created our pain (sometimes being ourselves), we will be able to love others a little more purely, and without as much expectation. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-80883812265205736722014-07-23T21:48:00.003-07:002014-07-23T21:48:51.228-07:00Black Hole.Do you remember, say 5th grade, learning about the "Black Hole"? This big, bizarre, mysterious and ominous presence in our universe? I remember very little about it, except that it was obviously present, but not well understood. Well, last night, as I laid in bed, I felt what I can only describe as a black hole somewhere deep in my chest. I think that most of the time I avoid or ignore its throbbing sensation, but last night, I let it be. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I compare the feeling to that of a black hole because I really don't understand it. It hurts. But not in a stabbing sort of way, in more like a throbbing, aching, and haunting sort of way. I'm also not sure what provokes it. I know it must have something to do with my ex-husband/ divorce, but I can't seem to figure out which parts of those topics I'm lamenting. I am also not sure if it is sadness, anger, confusion, or loneliness. I think it is a bit of it all. There is a particular kind of loneliness that I believe you can only experience after being married. The reason I say this is, in what other circumstance do you give your entire self, life, and future to the graces of one sole person? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know that not all people experience what I am now experiencing. Some can carry on and move on without hardly missing a beat. Not me. In the very depths of my soul I made a promise, not just to my (ex) husband, but to God and to myself. How do I reconcile to myself a promise that I held with true honest conviction? Divorce has proved to be a devastating part of my life, and I am sill feeling the repercussions. I may have married the wrong man, and I may have acted poorly as a wife, but the truth is, I gave my whole heart to one person and it has made me a fool.</div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-38610078262920295532014-03-20T21:22:00.002-07:002014-03-20T21:59:54.639-07:00Comm(unity).<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the past few months I have found myself drifting back to this particular topic- Community. I have contemplated our intrinsic desire for it, and, at times, our desperate need for it. It is simply fascinating to me the way we were designed to need one another. Now, I realize there are always exceptions.. Monks living solitary lives in the deep woods or mountain men living deep in the, well, mountains.. but don't they normally sort of lose it? In general, I believe that we were made to rely on one another whether we like it or not. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We not only rely on one another for procreation, but for deep, meaningful relationship. Just the other day, after a rough start to my day, I talked to one of my good friends Elena from Dallas, it completely changed my day around. After chatting about relatively meaningless subject matter, we began to share with one another some of our real struggles and difficulties. I left the conversation feeling heard, understood, and not so alone. It's the best feeling ever, right? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have these conversations on the regular with my close friends and family. I always seem to discover that we really aren't that different after all. Whether they are struggling with a relationship with (fill in the blank), how to raise their kids, a past experience, or whatever the struggle is, in some way we are always able to empathize and connect with one another. This is why I think our Creator is so incredibly brilliant. He instilled in us the power to encourage, touch, and love one another in tremendous ways (and with it the power to destroy). It is no wonder why Jesus spoke so much of loving your neighbor.. Galatians 5: 14 says, "The entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 6:2, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are called to share in joys and sorrows and extend love, hope, and occasionally, a swift kick in the ass to one another. It's a beautiful thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We simply thrive more vibrantly when we thrive together.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
These are some of the beautiful women that have made all the difference to me.. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirFuE_AJthJP2potzTzxjFRISsuZsUzWvKLAAq5xeYlV4668Wc1cIspBH9S4hsspfgDrZXKocHEdE9p-spfjtD9wvgkbGfXHxAKd6tEiCEYaNYLEmK-HVhVEQ7V0tyytrJOqEZqN74mS_l/s640/blogger-image-158940669.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirFuE_AJthJP2potzTzxjFRISsuZsUzWvKLAAq5xeYlV4668Wc1cIspBH9S4hsspfgDrZXKocHEdE9p-spfjtD9wvgkbGfXHxAKd6tEiCEYaNYLEmK-HVhVEQ7V0tyytrJOqEZqN74mS_l/s640/blogger-image-158940669.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
Allie and Lauren. It's their fault I'm weird.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv4qC3R_0OqMGIsziriBlQ_R4CTHLouoMt49trtSceN3j-Cpp_26PsQcGi1C9WeImy9x2zZKDQJfrcz-Tr03VetGiIwvpSwxGg_Cslw_ScAi7ywifuHVxfiRXsG78iOMk52O0stUQQwW_9/s640/blogger-image-1112284688.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv4qC3R_0OqMGIsziriBlQ_R4CTHLouoMt49trtSceN3j-Cpp_26PsQcGi1C9WeImy9x2zZKDQJfrcz-Tr03VetGiIwvpSwxGg_Cslw_ScAi7ywifuHVxfiRXsG78iOMk52O0stUQQwW_9/s640/blogger-image-1112284688.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
Elena, Dallas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDl9bZCEQFPJ6EWWYywde3DwSebk4W38uLePt23IHr_sgX6PtkYdZf0_o63TbZtqRwwIIdk2bObY0HCL2iZLocpfh511MQRjQmQBoE2SOoKSzfRRDSrGTidwYmg4qb9WPnBhKSwajVMsj/s640/blogger-image-1937394491.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDl9bZCEQFPJ6EWWYywde3DwSebk4W38uLePt23IHr_sgX6PtkYdZf0_o63TbZtqRwwIIdk2bObY0HCL2iZLocpfh511MQRjQmQBoE2SOoKSzfRRDSrGTidwYmg4qb9WPnBhKSwajVMsj/s640/blogger-image-1937394491.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Merily, Dallas.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqjeIu9WPlF_I6dYTh1Q6kTt4cSGEbUCmCk_eceiGZlbp8RoCkT1CCY8HwOcL_wURNq9w2BS33h1BdEtbXsehY3nf-Obcd9EQ8A1tlKWa1v3W5NZWMOMd7e7YX1GSiQw1USFIS9P62srul/s640/blogger-image-1958920200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqjeIu9WPlF_I6dYTh1Q6kTt4cSGEbUCmCk_eceiGZlbp8RoCkT1CCY8HwOcL_wURNq9w2BS33h1BdEtbXsehY3nf-Obcd9EQ8A1tlKWa1v3W5NZWMOMd7e7YX1GSiQw1USFIS9P62srul/s640/blogger-image-1958920200.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Stasia, Manhattan. Also, contributed to my weirdness.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsKBG5mbR0iTE33CAZBwSlsODXntY9Qdwzdn2nJizQAk0qFetnLjISBe1yFD775PMQAHOZEmE7t9hmkHOn2wovCkXpMayRW-NOAQxggWDEHwW_8Wv2aFhOeG72eK5Xv_-WltjJ36Paf7e-/s640/blogger-image--614378862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsKBG5mbR0iTE33CAZBwSlsODXntY9Qdwzdn2nJizQAk0qFetnLjISBe1yFD775PMQAHOZEmE7t9hmkHOn2wovCkXpMayRW-NOAQxggWDEHwW_8Wv2aFhOeG72eK5Xv_-WltjJ36Paf7e-/s640/blogger-image--614378862.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sister. Poor thing is stuck with me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYXTQxP2qLqPfalxX5vBio5iPKTIKbe0Fi0fB6HNVVkIEyT3Q2lD26yqE6VLk3RVZftnOBeg2vl4knqiJWw2rRAsBmxYb3uKK9U6rvOpqNMaU7HKAeuhzvFkYnY-KqPALYLRNaOSvp8RA/s640/blogger-image-1040067328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYXTQxP2qLqPfalxX5vBio5iPKTIKbe0Fi0fB6HNVVkIEyT3Q2lD26yqE6VLk3RVZftnOBeg2vl4knqiJWw2rRAsBmxYb3uKK9U6rvOpqNMaU7HKAeuhzvFkYnY-KqPALYLRNaOSvp8RA/s640/blogger-image-1040067328.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Skye and Carolyn, Austin.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha0DUDQImr84OG11R4sMtI2z62W7sropkrh6pcra1u2pxOBpYyu-47oJ3ah5EjX6UL-bcRYVRfpokh9WxuseP4kPiHIJ5T91MtLg5W54UopVRUBi75xcQ_56nGUlsNHFkn5ZM27qD-EAQv/s640/blogger-image--1345831121.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha0DUDQImr84OG11R4sMtI2z62W7sropkrh6pcra1u2pxOBpYyu-47oJ3ah5EjX6UL-bcRYVRfpokh9WxuseP4kPiHIJ5T91MtLg5W54UopVRUBi75xcQ_56nGUlsNHFkn5ZM27qD-EAQv/s640/blogger-image--1345831121.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mumsie. Also stuck with me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Megan, I don't have a picture of you but don't think for a minute you're not in on this mushy blog post. Love you all!!!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
</div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-23340700316920653092014-03-02T09:33:00.001-08:002014-03-02T09:38:17.356-08:00gratitude.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Every day is filled with distraction. Some days, we may not even know what we are being distracted from. A sense of urgency may be pressing us, for really no reason at all. Most of the time, we are weighted by our own idea of what our life should look like, or what we want it to look like in the future...</span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think this is a struggle for most people, and I have really only discovered one way to fight it.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gratitude.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With one simple change of perspective, life becomes beautiful, just as it is. Unfortunately, most of the time we realize the things we have to be grateful for after their place in our lives has been threatened. The other day, I realized I was trapped in the cycle of worry. Once one left, another would follow. I realized that no matter how well life may be going, there will almost always be something to stew about.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What am I going to do with my life?</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What will my life look like in 5 years?</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Will I get married again?</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Will I ever have babies?!</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whew, it's exhausting. But when I think about it, I have SO much. I have my health; that's </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">huge.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I have my family. I don't know what I would do without them. With those two things intact, everything else just becomes a bonus.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That is how I want to view my life- a bonus. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's like good old John said, "Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">-John Milton</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-swlr_VF9jQTWmB2Ddg2TxVtZ7V34q-6EimPEUFAXv0f3R9cuepcfDyJLB6ZG_8A5Ct1egU-cVMIuG1BS7WKniCUGHwI-kCpLMiP0Tu3XhhAH1p5LEF_b6BA5JS3klLRp9ZsGaYsM-eGr/s640/blogger-image--511824496.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-swlr_VF9jQTWmB2Ddg2TxVtZ7V34q-6EimPEUFAXv0f3R9cuepcfDyJLB6ZG_8A5Ct1egU-cVMIuG1BS7WKniCUGHwI-kCpLMiP0Tu3XhhAH1p5LEF_b6BA5JS3klLRp9ZsGaYsM-eGr/s640/blogger-image--511824496.jpg" /></a></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-40724269976659456282014-02-25T10:59:00.001-08:002014-03-02T09:06:25.138-08:00Kansas Sky<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt7Xu8isSPzo6besTaOlw1RKRU7mByQrBAxkesVFevWgxYcy22l1WbuWIipsst8jMgrXBCjJAHOFkXww1gtmSjuxgH-OBHeYquzMNsMqv9lMCq6arWGLnzsmnAiR4bn7uZ5ytKQkiXUS77/s640/blogger-image--456545769.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt7Xu8isSPzo6besTaOlw1RKRU7mByQrBAxkesVFevWgxYcy22l1WbuWIipsst8jMgrXBCjJAHOFkXww1gtmSjuxgH-OBHeYquzMNsMqv9lMCq6arWGLnzsmnAiR4bn7uZ5ytKQkiXUS77/s640/blogger-image--456545769.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is the display that greeted me the other day on my way to work. It was just another moment of beauty that transcended my typical daily routine.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It reminded me of what Sheldon Vanauken says in his book, </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A Severe Mercy</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, "To be in love, as to see beauty, is a kind of adoring that turns the lover away from self."</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Kansas, you've still got it.</span></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-70164970352034756522014-02-10T20:25:00.000-08:002014-02-23T08:35:17.709-08:00Quiet Calm.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7Xu5uMM-qxQVDXuz2-GHjsKvIcUl7s9STrLkqR8Y-uvTTbOoUBpWsBeyIOVv70ogTQ-MCenjIggy4gAuq5kqw6zzZFi1uBc6MJiKVVDczyoBYmf3zypp8d-hBmNE7Ig8vMCGNWh5WiJQ/s1600/Muzzle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7Xu5uMM-qxQVDXuz2-GHjsKvIcUl7s9STrLkqR8Y-uvTTbOoUBpWsBeyIOVv70ogTQ-MCenjIggy4gAuq5kqw6zzZFi1uBc6MJiKVVDczyoBYmf3zypp8d-hBmNE7Ig8vMCGNWh5WiJQ/s1600/Muzzle.jpg" height="425" width="640"></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Stillness,</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Is often forgotten.</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In a culture, a world that never stops,</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We many times cease to pause. </span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yet we are met with moments that beckon us.</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Like the quiet calm of morning </span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After a night-long snow.</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The world finally takes a deep breath,</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And all angst softly falls away.</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can do nothing more than to stand in awe,</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Of the glory that is our present day.</span><br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-58919635536295747802013-11-13T21:42:00.000-08:002014-02-25T11:00:00.344-08:00Growing Pains<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">T</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">oday, I felt about an inch tall.</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>Does it ever happen to you?</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>You know, the days it seems like nothing is going the way you planned, all of your insecurities and negative thoughts peek their little head into your mind, no one seems to want to answer your calls and you just figure that everyone must have simply forgotten that you existed... </span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></span>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8E82TjOCzV168CsX8MPignxbnWEyuERVBHc31soU332OjS5PAlPWB-IynokhnJNUYRtlVncs2Prp29z934mcLYXBdu2lbHE1731xDzrdfyK2VQahktMvMqe2RkPO8dtTzkOVYj4m2X7Ck/s1600/sad_eeyore-4821.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8E82TjOCzV168CsX8MPignxbnWEyuERVBHc31soU332OjS5PAlPWB-IynokhnJNUYRtlVncs2Prp29z934mcLYXBdu2lbHE1731xDzrdfyK2VQahktMvMqe2RkPO8dtTzkOVYj4m2X7Ck/s1600/sad_eeyore-4821.jpg" height="320" width="314"></span></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>Yes, this was me today.</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I have to admit, because of my past experience and my current situation, I often times feel a tinge of sadness, but that paired with being alone for too long, and a laundry list of not-going-rights, I feel down right crappy. </span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I started making a sort of mental list of what I was upset about, things that gave me a right to feel the way I did. After a while I decided that this was more than I could handle, so I decided to think of a way to "release" some of the "pressure." So, while driving into town I let out a good, frustrated scream. Yep, I sure did. And guess what? It didn't really help. It just gave me a sore throat.</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I blubbered and whined for a little bit while tears rolled down my cheeks, thinking of how wrong my life has gone in the past 3 years and all the crud I have to deal with because of it.. And then, I couldn't take it anymore.</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I had to "woman up." </span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>It's like all of the sudden I got tired of myself. Tired of spending all of my energy on my full-blown pity party. Now, don't get me wrong. Everyday is a struggle. Everyday I feel the grief of my divorce, and worse, my marriage. My failures creep into my mind on the daily. I have feelings that I pray for God to relieve me of.</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>BUT</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I realized that there's no use in bathing in the toxic spring of self-pity. </span>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So much</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> time and energy is wasted... and it leaves me no better off, simply bitter, and sore..</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I want to feel like a strong woman again. I know that God can use all of these things for good if I allow Him to. Much rests on my ability to let go and accept my past, so that He can mold my future. At times like these I try to remind myself that God says:</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">-John 10:10</span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br>I thought I would share this with you all so that hopefully you can be encouraged in the fact that you aren't the only looney out there who screams in their car (maybe that's just me?), or throws massive pity paloozas for themselves. I think it's in our nature, but it's so important to realize that God has so much better for us.</span>
<br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJII_px-mZHziT8hw2Wa_iJIKNqEYdz-QkgPSZszEd8c6WiXOFpdAeVyPJpHxptGOHlzqnPTaRpnC7bdY9OYEYDhskId7vNVTxQppjJOTSfxa3g0knyqOSV_EopV-uE7d8ayRDQewZzIjp/s1600/eeyoresmile2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJII_px-mZHziT8hw2Wa_iJIKNqEYdz-QkgPSZszEd8c6WiXOFpdAeVyPJpHxptGOHlzqnPTaRpnC7bdY9OYEYDhskId7vNVTxQppjJOTSfxa3g0knyqOSV_EopV-uE7d8ayRDQewZzIjp/s1600/eeyoresmile2.gif" height="200" width="155"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And gosh he's cute isn't he?</span></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-89429380401056173132013-10-05T22:28:00.001-07:002013-10-05T22:28:58.962-07:00Heart to Heart.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I know when I created this blog I said I was going to be real and raw about the journey of going through divorce (maybe in more eloquent wording), and well, frankly I haven't been writing a whole lot on the subject. Honestly, a lot of it stems from insecurity. I have had plenty of ideas about what I could write to potentially encourage and resonate with another suffering person, but then I wonder, "What if I give a bad piece of advice?" or "What if I really don't know at all what I'm talking about?" Well, though those things could always be possible, it probably should not prevent me from sharing. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, here goes...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Although the journey is different for everyone, we all face similar feelings and fears. We probably all lose more than just our spouse; we lose friends, community, and our familiar way of life. That in itself is hard for anyone to venture through. And although there are wonderful books and counselors out there to help us navigate the ways to best travel the valleys of grief and loss, the journey is always ultimately within ourselves. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Divorce is complicated, and no matter how clean the cut may seem, I believe it is always messy. For example, one question that I frequently ask myself is, "What do I do with my memories?" Let's say I'm only referring to good ones right now. Do I allow myself to treasure certain ones? What if some day I meet someone else and something reminds me of my first husband and I begin to feel guilty? Do I shut them (the memories) out? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One thing I have learned is that shutting out is usually not the greatest plan. For one, just because I try to tell myself to forget about something, it does not mean I will forget about it. In fact, I think it will linger even longer that way. Not dealing with things is still dealing with them, just very poorly. Even if I think I have a memory "whipped" in my conscience thought life, I will probably see it in my dreams. My mind is determined to deal with things even if I'm not.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Don't you just love dreams?! For me, everything comes back so intensely, like I'm experiencing it all over again. Sometimes, I can even remember certain smells. Weird. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In most of my dreams pertaining to my ex-husband (I hate saying those words by the way), the biggest feeling I have is rejection. It's really good for a woman's heart let me tell you!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But I'm getting stronger. A lot stronger. And another thing I realize is pity parties are like shooting yourself in an already sore foot- they don't do much for you. :)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think that's enough for tonight, so let me send you with some encouragement. Whatever you are facing, it can get better if you allow it to. Give it time. I always secretly hated when people said that to me because divorce, like any loss, feels so permanent, so life-changing, but it's true. God can work in literally any situation, you just have to be willing to surrender to His guidance. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Another thing, go easy on yourself. Not in the throw yourself a major pity-fest sort of way, but don't expect too much of yourself, even if you feel pressure to "move on." Unfortunately and fortunately we were made with big, sensitive hearts. Capable of experiencing sheer joy, and painstaking sorrow. Lastly, don't give up on yourself, and don't forget about others. Your focus on others will be therapeutic during this time, and treasuring your inner self, imperative. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Goodnight for now!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-56395180162391714812013-09-16T20:28:00.001-07:002013-09-24T11:54:54.786-07:00Plaza 10K<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Guess whaaat??? </span></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKgMa6GKjsC5-9vJvAt72CjKwBhagB8WO6o1cqmcf-BSBgPQvn5COoPs2Hf1bQI7KVAujg3jS2s4vW2_4v9YnN8JklX7ZPUJzdlCYDMHgC5rthXTn_uVApWxDlcXHP8dGVRgSgSTUQgCn/s640/blogger-image-312652664.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKgMa6GKjsC5-9vJvAt72CjKwBhagB8WO6o1cqmcf-BSBgPQvn5COoPs2Hf1bQI7KVAujg3jS2s4vW2_4v9YnN8JklX7ZPUJzdlCYDMHgC5rthXTn_uVApWxDlcXHP8dGVRgSgSTUQgCn/s640/blogger-image-312652664.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did it! I ran an entire 10K for the very first time!!!! </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3Z3RXL-pRo7XNA7Q0AAtrLunIuh1wInGgSchZ8Lzlbbt2LVF-RK-R-oXNc9PNk8zfdWKhBb4vqjjSobfpkbPhyphenhyphenIU9I6zMaUK6EQYnPkG22QZQx9SSQuRm0blrhy2cG4l4pRIKWboH9Vc/s640/blogger-image-779721919.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3Z3RXL-pRo7XNA7Q0AAtrLunIuh1wInGgSchZ8Lzlbbt2LVF-RK-R-oXNc9PNk8zfdWKhBb4vqjjSobfpkbPhyphenhyphenIU9I6zMaUK6EQYnPkG22QZQx9SSQuRm0blrhy2cG4l4pRIKWboH9Vc/s640/blogger-image-779721919.jpg" /></span></a></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was an absolutely glorious morning.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIurE_KtIl-hmSiPab2npjy7F0xm8cDWXt1vRzbPFngTUOng2IOKYX9pamI02ubE7NOZOZL8pUe3MhjBURYsDGjc2UcsliyAdruA8MInEahHqqpR5nXESDNon_HC4fjJaTboAauzl5w7KL/s640/blogger-image-35767292.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIurE_KtIl-hmSiPab2npjy7F0xm8cDWXt1vRzbPFngTUOng2IOKYX9pamI02ubE7NOZOZL8pUe3MhjBURYsDGjc2UcsliyAdruA8MInEahHqqpR5nXESDNon_HC4fjJaTboAauzl5w7KL/s640/blogger-image-35767292.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, I'm still alive and kickin'!</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTBQtIe3qXoLdax1saIMX0k7XaVZFDxT-YloeGGyhgScNvaOyVrG9ZX-Y14v7VmQhGdyWJCKg11uO-9SrWPmKIrrZDhUAoaY7FRkMVaZxw7uL2BAeDmMlQkEO9mb45Kvc-ECFlag2cFkv/s640/blogger-image-1181920133.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTBQtIe3qXoLdax1saIMX0k7XaVZFDxT-YloeGGyhgScNvaOyVrG9ZX-Y14v7VmQhGdyWJCKg11uO-9SrWPmKIrrZDhUAoaY7FRkMVaZxw7uL2BAeDmMlQkEO9mb45Kvc-ECFlag2cFkv/s640/blogger-image-1181920133.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had two goals on mind. One- finish without walking.. check. And two- to run it in less than an hour (not super lofty for all you running buffs)-double check!</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My average pace was 9:22 min/ mile. I have to say it was not easy. The first few miles were fun and then the real challenge began.. Although I wish I could have been faster I am proud just for the fact that I finally forced myself to train for something and then accomplish it. It feels good. A few years ago I started to "train" for a 10K and frivolously gave up the idea after I realized it would take more discipline then what I was ready for. I'm glad that I've come full circle. I feel that discipline is necessary for everyone, especially when times get tough. It gives you confidence in what you do as well as the ability to enjoy it for what it is. Even if you can't control how you feel about certain parts of your life at times, discipline allows you to take pride in something that you can. </span></div>
</div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-12676173464609248692013-09-11T21:33:00.001-07:002013-09-11T21:44:50.532-07:00Mona Lisa.<div style="text-align: center;">
Today is September 11th, 2013; twelve years after America's tragic World Trade Center bombing. It was a Tuesday. Do you remember where you were? What you were doing? I was in junior high, but Mom had stopped at a Discount Tire before she dropped me off at school. I sat there in the waiting room not sure of what I was watching..</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJsNBi72VfziWsvQDSJ6EFzh-_uors-5jYfXvs5vgQml-q4sxSIwMZGalFrJfKCtLnTZSb3NVuptujPvfQn_39ZvAho_pNvcPJXzK8mBAsh8IsY9jLRl2AoqG48C-PN4eI8oU2C3gU-AeH/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJsNBi72VfziWsvQDSJ6EFzh-_uors-5jYfXvs5vgQml-q4sxSIwMZGalFrJfKCtLnTZSb3NVuptujPvfQn_39ZvAho_pNvcPJXzK8mBAsh8IsY9jLRl2AoqG48C-PN4eI8oU2C3gU-AeH/s1600/photo.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PIcHtmtHN3xcAtbjuqQh9oPAYEM5yqYuhBqKVyo0DPRs143yrAvhTH8c74mblfYX52zGrZ-4bG4_1MF6a5wyfyn1xSajaRkxdQeN5klJegPlc13vqH0-ylcAnvfraPNva1ZjblIWWcHr/s1600/photo-3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PIcHtmtHN3xcAtbjuqQh9oPAYEM5yqYuhBqKVyo0DPRs143yrAvhTH8c74mblfYX52zGrZ-4bG4_1MF6a5wyfyn1xSajaRkxdQeN5klJegPlc13vqH0-ylcAnvfraPNva1ZjblIWWcHr/s1600/photo-3.JPG" height="162" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
I'm sure the people of New York </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
felt the same way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtIslsw7bcjvpEj3Jgz6TKigvQJ_bxSWTFHmpVrqNGyCzTa9XrXOlSvhwy2SGBHqxLuY_yS0DRyjIUgkC8LI7_S_W19jsW7_ik2UDqtRndokGeF1b1F3Y8bkCG01DhQ4ny6Lf1Gwn2YqTu/s1600/photo-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtIslsw7bcjvpEj3Jgz6TKigvQJ_bxSWTFHmpVrqNGyCzTa9XrXOlSvhwy2SGBHqxLuY_yS0DRyjIUgkC8LI7_S_W19jsW7_ik2UDqtRndokGeF1b1F3Y8bkCG01DhQ4ny6Lf1Gwn2YqTu/s1600/photo-1.JPG" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdKtvD6zFZGktPWDitDYcMT3-vnVK_FkRHoskdoh7pM0gVNVNx_pCUfQ2qOHAIBlMJHkvg6NahgxO8NmF9pM6oHLc3vHJWmTvkYR3kT64c9knnAzX2g0OQ8sjp8xA2myqqMc_Plx5C-SU/s1600/photo-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdKtvD6zFZGktPWDitDYcMT3-vnVK_FkRHoskdoh7pM0gVNVNx_pCUfQ2qOHAIBlMJHkvg6NahgxO8NmF9pM6oHLc3vHJWmTvkYR3kT64c9knnAzX2g0OQ8sjp8xA2myqqMc_Plx5C-SU/s1600/photo-2.JPG" height="178" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why am I bringing this up twelve years later? Because I think it's important. If we don't occasionally remember certain things in our history how will we know how to act going forward? While working at Grace, my senior friends shamed me when they discovered the pathetic amount of American history I knew. Now, I understand why. They came from a generation of do-ers. The Great Depression and World War II defined a large part of their lives. They lost loved ones themselves, and watched others lose theirs. Their family fought hard for what they believed in. They gave all they had for our Country, just like our founding fathers did.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I come from a generation that has received the benefits and luxury fought for by former generations. I came into America stretching my arms out wide, and breathing in deep its sweet, free air. I don't know what it's like to lose someone to war. And I have been oblivious to the cost others have paid for my freedom. In school, it was hard for me to even imagine George Washington as a real person. He looked more like the painting of a stranger to me, like the Mona Lisa. Silly me. Stupid me!! I have so much to be grateful for; so much to learn from them...<br />
However, I do know now that <u>with freedom comes with great responsibility.</u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is our turn to stand up for what is right; to continue to fight for what our founding fathers brilliantly built from the ground up. We have to, or it will most definitely be taken from us.</div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-49067705535980251582013-09-05T05:53:00.002-07:002013-09-05T06:17:50.884-07:00Memories.<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBegElvt67PINFLVAN-Nh4Rf2T1_2kjxcrBGpdcVH7F24d5aV-8NIDgWEjV3XeGUn6EmwdviIT0JucQ-xqXGfJbX12LAYln6skqLC06ablNra40VSFE55M8s5P4lfDK8rQHY-MND6wtaW/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBegElvt67PINFLVAN-Nh4Rf2T1_2kjxcrBGpdcVH7F24d5aV-8NIDgWEjV3XeGUn6EmwdviIT0JucQ-xqXGfJbX12LAYln6skqLC06ablNra40VSFE55M8s5P4lfDK8rQHY-MND6wtaW/s1600/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It is so funny going back to
places you haven’t seen in a long time. The memories and feelings you felt so
long ago come flooding back along with the blunt and unavoidable realization
that things have changed.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> Being back home,
I’ve had plenty of these times come up, but today was different. Today it was
so in my face that I had to find my old place of rest, Bluestem Bistro, and
write. There was no way I could just drive home, not today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> Exactly
2 ½ years ago, I said, “I do.” I committed my heart to a person and an idea
that I believed in. A year ago on the 24</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">th</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I was divorced. So yes,
things are different for me now. As I walked the familiar streets of campus to
Justin Hall, a building where fond, now slightly painful memories linger, I
found myself envying the naïve college students. I remembered the lightness and
freedom of this time in my life. I remember the feeling of having my whole life
ahead of me, and being so excited for it. I wanted to be naïve again. Part of
me still wishes I could go back in time and start over. I feel like I have seen
too much; experienced more than I bargained for. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> The purpose of my
coming back to campus was to meet with an old professor of mine, to discuss the
recommendation letter she will write for me. One thing that gives me comfort is
the way my old professors, family, and friends still believe in me. Even though
I took an interesting journey after college instead of going straight into grad
school, they seem to think that I am no worse for the ware, maybe even better for
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> Something that you
gain through the mess of grieving and loss is the ability to empathize, to
learn patience with others because of the patience others have shown to you.
Nobody wants to trade a care-free, blissful life for a hurricane of crud so
thick you can barely see straight, but it happens anyway, and there is always
good that can come of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I am currently in
the search for the good, for the… “So now what?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope and pray that God
makes something beautiful of my mess, and I believe He can, maybe even
something greater than my little mind had planned for itself. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-9867575019828162022013-08-29T16:12:00.001-07:002013-08-29T16:19:48.170-07:00Pictures.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oh Dear,</span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once again it has been too, too long. It's not like I don't think of awesome, inspiring things to write about I promise! It's just that I.. well.. don't sit down to do it enough. But I haaaave been thinking. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This blog was meant to give a fairly open and honest perspective on life; the good, the bad, and the "So I'm NOT the only one who feels this way?!" sort of feeling. My goal was to connect with you in some manner that hopefully caused you to think, empathize, maybe laugh, and not feel so horribly alone in this world! This </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">is</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> a hard place to live sometimes after all. I still want to pursue this, but I'd also like to talk about some not-so-serious things too, if that's okay?</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One idea that I have mulled over is (drum roll please)...... Topics! Yes! </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Have you ever taken the time to think about one particular aspect of life? I mean </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">really</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> think about it? Of course you have. What do you say we do it together?! Yes? Great. Let's start. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Pictures. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Visual representations of our brief, yet meaningful time on Earth.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What's so great about pictures? Everybody takes them. Nearly everyone is familiar with their purpose and importance, and yet, they have so many different meanings and serve people in so many ways. They are taken for sheer enjoyment, practice, to create and represent a memory. They can represent an accomplishment, a wonderful (or terrible) moment in history, or they can mean nothing at all! They can be used to share with family and friends, or kept for our own enjoyment. And they, like anything else, can be abused. A picture is what you want it to be. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The purpose of pictures, like cars, has changed. Cars used to be valued for their ability to get us from point A to B. Now they are prized for their features, their speed, their finesse. We can judge others based on what they drive. With the introduction of the internet, the purpose of pictures has changed. Let's be honest, we like attention. Everybody likes to feel heard and seen to some extent. And now, with Instagram, Facebook, and so many more social media apps I can't think straight, "sharing" is horribly easy. I say horribly because if you aren't careful, you can get seriously hooked. Without discipline, we can allow ourselves to be swallowed up by the gratification that comes from being "liked" and soon, we need it.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now, I'm just putting this out there, but doesn't it seem like most times we are disappointed? Possibly because our need for human interaction requires more than just a screen? I don't know about you all, but it seems the more satisfied with my own life I am, the less I feel the need for others' approval in the form of "likes" and nice comments. Not that these things are bad! I just think they require balance, like literally everything else in our lives. I love Instagram, but I don't love feeling inadequate because of it, ya know?! I also love correct grammar too, most of the time.. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Whew, off my soap box now.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Isn't it fascinating that the same picture can evoke feelings of joy and happiness at one moment in time, and evoke feelings of sadness and even anger at others. Pictures don't change, but we do! </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Who knew their was so much to say about pictures?!</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Speaking of.. here are just a few of my more recent favorites:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In Texas, bluebonnets are adored and they only in season for about three weeks. Here's a picture from when I took my lovely seniors on a trip to see the fields of Ennis, Texas.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiAtUzsnL9ujm0hBpQPAO4dobkxvGXwTzbj_4ZGTi99czjSAJ7LNobUghs-A_trJ2Hu0PyV_0-qTwFF6Vv-8aHu3fuGvgu12UGR6jLXDfrWR-7kBUb4ZiFAzawEoM8h1fRhKS5puqzuC9R/s1600/Bluebonnets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiAtUzsnL9ujm0hBpQPAO4dobkxvGXwTzbj_4ZGTi99czjSAJ7LNobUghs-A_trJ2Hu0PyV_0-qTwFF6Vv-8aHu3fuGvgu12UGR6jLXDfrWR-7kBUb4ZiFAzawEoM8h1fRhKS5puqzuC9R/s1600/Bluebonnets.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is from the same event. I call it, "Three Amigos." </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Aren't they adorable?!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGTNxyPGh4p0zyFhbgmbCQ5Zz6lZI5F5tuqHM_r8cwLxjfG2J-gEkdaSE7DF8KkCGw3JT0xSWkjtxl6GAb3PprjBFPGQzUp8gpT3eGFszRyryARtk7w3URJtuby25an0LiupcS-TNAoOFG/s1600/Donkeys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGTNxyPGh4p0zyFhbgmbCQ5Zz6lZI5F5tuqHM_r8cwLxjfG2J-gEkdaSE7DF8KkCGw3JT0xSWkjtxl6GAb3PprjBFPGQzUp8gpT3eGFszRyryARtk7w3URJtuby25an0LiupcS-TNAoOFG/s1600/Donkeys.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is my Dad, he's a good man, and he likes to farm.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGTNxyPGh4p0zyFhbgmbCQ5Zz6lZI5F5tuqHM_r8cwLxjfG2J-gEkdaSE7DF8KkCGw3JT0xSWkjtxl6GAb3PprjBFPGQzUp8gpT3eGFszRyryARtk7w3URJtuby25an0LiupcS-TNAoOFG/s1600/Donkeys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglkFtXx_7AuiUoeatb2s4SV42n1ZbofRo18L7CL_jAQ9bdAdA2cfXcXXWtmCOiIdPncG37bsGWOVm7OE6uvIDWm9LvJBEerquh5CW1jkDVX5pmXqW6yILBq7X-KcGhiENwcZJBGta1kmpp/s1600/Dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglkFtXx_7AuiUoeatb2s4SV42n1ZbofRo18L7CL_jAQ9bdAdA2cfXcXXWtmCOiIdPncG37bsGWOVm7OE6uvIDWm9LvJBEerquh5CW1jkDVX5pmXqW6yILBq7X-KcGhiENwcZJBGta1kmpp/s1600/Dad.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This was taken at the Bishop Arts District in Dallas. You should most definitely visit if you are passing through. It is a diamond in the ruff. You may think you are going to be shot on your way through Oak Cliff, but press on and you will behold a mini hipster paradise. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglkFtXx_7AuiUoeatb2s4SV42n1ZbofRo18L7CL_jAQ9bdAdA2cfXcXXWtmCOiIdPncG37bsGWOVm7OE6uvIDWm9LvJBEerquh5CW1jkDVX5pmXqW6yILBq7X-KcGhiENwcZJBGta1kmpp/s1600/Dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1O1Hbrfnsyh_K7Q9NIi4zpCLktGDlTBJarUIaKrJRl4zm7Bf2mVxvXdK5UB6HieTbnS30HXCiIAmHj6PNZ7z74E6Qp2xohdG4lzER4IEF3bt5zaCYWy-0ilg5bZ3hMLICcPUNnkZ2Lub/s1600/Musician.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1O1Hbrfnsyh_K7Q9NIi4zpCLktGDlTBJarUIaKrJRl4zm7Bf2mVxvXdK5UB6HieTbnS30HXCiIAmHj6PNZ7z74E6Qp2xohdG4lzER4IEF3bt5zaCYWy-0ilg5bZ3hMLICcPUNnkZ2Lub/s1600/Musician.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That's all for now folks! Until next time!</span></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-88525497824829547762013-06-09T18:52:00.003-07:002013-06-09T18:57:00.577-07:00Goals<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think I was wiser at the age of 12 than I am now in one regard: goal-setting.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I made up tons of little goals and promises to myself.. everything from riding dolphins (which I would still love!) to writing all of the fun things I would do with my future husband- ha! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is something to say for having goals. My goals have been all but null and void the last couple years or so.. My focus has been scattered between just trying to feel normal again and feeling like their was not much left for me to aspire to (a lie from the devil himself). I haven't verbalized a whole lot of goals out of fear of not reaching them and then feeling like a failure. Well, I'm sure even the greatest people experienced a failure or two before reaching their goals, but that's just a guess ;) So, in light of this realization, I'd like to post a few goals or destinations I would like to arrive at in the nearer-than-not future.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But first, I have to write a couple fantasies I have that may be a little farther from reality, just for fun:</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~ It has been a long day, emotions of yesterday are creeping in, and realities of today are a challenge. It was hard to go through the day trying to be okay.. so I come home and begin to play. Everything I wish I could say floats beautifully away from the piano in musical words I would never dream of being able to express. Whatever I am feeling lifts away like a prayer, released to the heavens to be turned into a beautiful masterpiece by the only One that has the power to surpass all understanding. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~ I have gone to school to acquire the knowledge and skill I need to help anyone I want to. I travel to beautiful foreign countries and offer myself to those who have never known the luxury of so many things I take for granted every day. I make a difference for many only in the way a good friend would, with humility, wisdom, and determination. I am not well known, except for in the hearts of these special people that touch my life probably more than I could theirs.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~ Somehow, through this mess of a life, God enables me to have the understanding and words to speak to those who want to give up hope. Maybe they feel they are too far gone; they can't see their infinite worth, or they are so angry they don't know the difference. Truth is spoken and wounds in both of us are healed. This is the real, good life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And finally..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~ It is a cool evening, the crowd is restless and ready for their show. We have been practicing for months. I pull on the last of my bright pink and black, spandex uniform. My entrance is nearing. I can hear the low rustle of the crowd and am filled with what feels like static electricity. The song begins, the curtains draw and I am behind him; one of six of Justin Timberlake's back up dancers.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">... Okay, so I made this one up, but at least I got your imagination going! :) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">** Now, to be honest. I'd like to mention that these are fantasies that I have sometimes, when I am feeling whole and loved myself. Just because I enjoy helping others, does not mean that I cannot be a wretch. In fact I sometimes frankly suck at loving the people closest to me (why does it happen like that)? So, in the meantime I pray I will love my family and best friends in the best way I can.. :S</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, now for the fun and less serious goals:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Healthier living. I have a MAJOR sweet tooth and simply enjoy almost any kind of food- but it is not a mutual agreement between me and my body. So, the goal is to find foods that are agreeable to both! This also includes a better workout schedule- I don't care if it's running, yoga, a walk, swimming or what have you, I just need more discipline in this area of my life. Which brings me to my next goal...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- To run a 10k!..... I can do it, I can do it, I can do it... Thomas the Train will be my inspiration.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Become more diligent in my hobbies: art, craftsy-things, horseback riding, gardening, and cooking! I'd love to take some art/pottery classes. Who's with me?!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ANNNDDDD finally,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Write a book- just kidding! (if I ever do this, and you read this statement I'll give ya 50 bucks, or a kiss, or ... a book!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are some of your goals/aspirations/fantasies?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love ya!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brenna </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-20327721599761656172013-06-05T21:35:00.000-07:002013-06-05T21:40:58.072-07:00the trouble with trouble <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/k3pltmw6cmI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ahhh Ray.. He knows how to soothe the soul.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, the trouble with trouble is..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, I don't really have a straight answer for that, but I do know that for some reason, when it rains, it pours. And it seems that trouble has a lurking shadow. So what is our part in this? Do we contribute to this downward spiral at times? I believe so. No, I know so.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I will be battling within throughout this post because, well.. you'll soon understand.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Throughout some of my time spent with my elderly friends, I have come to the realization that everyone will go though some sort of trouble in their lifetime. Some </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">much</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> more than others, but nonetheless, everyone will have their woes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me share how I have responded to mine. In few words, I can describe my behavior much like a child throwing a tantrum. Kicking and screaming, blaming others at times, intent on being unhappy and miserable no matter what anyone does for me, and believing that the world is out to get me. Pretty pathetic right? Here's why things are so difficult.. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am a human. I don't like things to hurt. Sometimes, an aching pain can make one feel like they are going to lose it. I yearn for understanding; to feel like I don't suffer alone. Anger is usually, if not always, a cover for a stinging wound. When a person is hurt, it can change the way they view the world, at least for some time. It is easy for resentment to set in. And, let's be honest, we all screw up, but who wants to deal with feelings of guilt and regret? They can be unbearable! This is why I struggle in writing this- because I am attempting to kick my own butt with my own wounded "foot". </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think it's so important to talk, and write and pray about these things so that they do not have the opportunity to fester, and get horribly infected and ugly. No one is perfect, so we must learn to forgive others </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> ourselves in order to let God use us and to simply move on. We all need understanding.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I still struggle with stigmas. I wish people were more open to talking about their struggles, their heartache. How much more could we help each other if we destroyed our own walls and opened ourselves up to support and healing? Vulnerability is hard, I know. But we get so much farther with it. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-84357973243562323252013-05-31T23:01:00.004-07:002013-05-31T23:21:45.492-07:00Bad Blogger<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">f I ever held an audience here I'm sure you are all long gone...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
But I'll keep writing anyway.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Warning: Considering the fact that I haven't written in months I apologize for the randomness that is about to ensue.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Hmm, I'll start with what I've been up to in the great city of Dallas (really it's not so bad). I spend the majority of my time with seniors with dementia (which I love). You know what I love about them? They are so unassuming. They're honest, even if that means telling you you need to take a class on how to instruct exercise classes. It makes their compliments so much more.. real. I have learned so much from them. More on that later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've also been taking a few exercise classes including kickboxing- so if you mess with me, I'll kick your ass.. literally.. multiple times. Ha.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Anyway, Dallas has much to offer in the way of dancing- everything from dub-step to two-step; and boy do these people take their two-stepping seriously. You better wear boots or you're a foreigner.. I experienced more culture shock walking into a "Cowboys" than walking down the streets of inner city Costa Rica. It's fun though, especially if a man knows what he's doing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Another enthralling cultural experience was salsa dancing. I've done a little salsa dancing before but apparently I had no idea how serious this could be. Wear heels and a dress or you're a foreigner. I must warn all who have never experienced this before- do NOT tell an hombre you are still learning, or you WILL be taken advantage of. You will be stuck in some awkward position wondering, are we dancing or... let's just say I like to dance close but this was just... too... close.. for comfort. Maybe I just got stuck with an over-eager Juan. Haha, who knows.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
If you are ever in Dallas, visit the Bishop Arts District. It's like a teeny, tiny, four-block long Austin. It's cool. GREAT food, and really cute boutiques. The people are pretentious too- it's perfect! I am exceedingly amused at pretentious people, I want to mess with them, or just look at them in the face and say "Seriously"? Okay, now I'm rambling and being a punk. Anyway, some day I'll get my balls back, they've been a bit squashed lately. Sorry Grandma if you're reading this, it's the best example of a smashed self-concept I could think of. More on that later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Something that I highly appreciate about a few of my seniors is their ability to laugh at themselves. I have a lady who finds it hilarious that sometimes she doesn't knows where the heck she is, or what the heck she's doing there. She just laughs, so then I do too. She also randomly bursts into her signature tune and proceeds to dance along to her own music.. she. is. awesome. I want to be like her if I ever get dementia.. will you remind me of that? Because I'm sure I won't remember..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
I'll wrap up my list of ramblings with a quick story. While visiting family in Colorado, I decided to stop into a Barnes and Noble to search for a helpful book on divorce recovery. We asked a middle-aged woman who then proceeded to lead us straight to a particular book, and then tell me that it is "ok" to scream, just to try to not do it in public as it is frowned upon. Then, she suggested writing a certain name on squares of tissue paper and then flushing them down.. People's advice never ceases to humor me. But she was sweet and sincere, and probably just wanted to offer some comfort to a seemingly distressed and fearful kid.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
Well, that's all for today. Look for me in another couple of months!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
oh PS- I had a cockroach wake me from sleep because it was doing the dougie on my face. I'm ready for the Amazon!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">(Just in case you need a refresher on the fine art of the dougie..)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uf2mBVcYS10?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-22202768268558351872013-03-16T21:23:00.000-07:002013-03-16T21:48:05.506-07:00119. Trees<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiibQANu6xcmPdyvSQneAAX0ROQKFxGW2pe9Xiu0XidvtQd-q1zfnKT4vaI8opEhMyPuDrLF2cx6X4FHRtx2iSnRFP3myASSMwvoAlGCeIbvr8I9tWAU4XywkPgnOs0TxCX-8o4Dk5W06Zf/s1600/IMG_0816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiibQANu6xcmPdyvSQneAAX0ROQKFxGW2pe9Xiu0XidvtQd-q1zfnKT4vaI8opEhMyPuDrLF2cx6X4FHRtx2iSnRFP3myASSMwvoAlGCeIbvr8I9tWAU4XywkPgnOs0TxCX-8o4Dk5W06Zf/s1600/IMG_0816.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think that I shall never see</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A poem lovely as a tree.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A tree whose hungry mouth is prest</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A tree that looks at God all day,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And lifts her leafy arms to pray;</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A tree that may in summer wear</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A nest of robins in her hair;</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Upon whose bosom snow has lain;</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Who intimately lives with rain.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Poems are made by fools like me,</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But only God can make a tree</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><div style="text-align: left;">
-Joyce Kilmer</div>
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">My senior residents </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">love </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">this poem, and now I do too.</span></span>brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-59459204961205226642013-01-20T22:16:00.001-08:002013-01-20T22:27:45.949-08:00Leggo my ego!Okay, it's been a minute. I take that back, I've always kind of laughed when people said that seriously..<br />
<br />
Anyway, I have finally forced myself to sit down and take the time to write. I must confess, many times, I will be driving home from work thinking up the <i>most profound</i> blog post ideas, walk through the door, and BAM- gone. My brain is awesome like that. Me and Dory from "Finding Nemo" would be the best of friends.<br />
<br />
On to what I actually waned to write about- the ego. Not specifically the ego itself, but what experience has been teaching me about it. First of all, I <i>have</i> learned a lot, in oh, say, the past six months. It has begun with me being knocked on my butt as I have described in previous posts. However, now that I am slowly becoming grounded again, I am seeing a once abstract, confusing picture of my life, transform into something slightly more understandable and even more eye-opening. Many of life's circumstances are painful blessings in disguise if we will allow them to be. I will be so bold as to say that God can certainly use any situation for good. However, most of the time we are just too blind or stubborn to see it, or allow it.<br />
<br />
I am reading a book about Abraham Lincoln. In it, it tells of Lincoln's failures and how fiercely they ate at him at times. It then tells of a period in his life that he began to come to terms with his failures. A quote of Jung's is what I found most interesting: <i>"The experience of the self is always a defeat for the ego." </i>It reads on, "Only through such experiences, however, can true psychological growth occur: 'The widening of consciousness is at first upheaval and darkness, then a broadening out of man to the whole man.'" - <u>The Inner World of Abraham Lincoln</u> by Michael Burlingame.<br />
<br />
Humility requires a cost, but so does pride. However, in humility we <i>see</i> so much more and ultimately become far happier. I am also reading the Chronicles of Narnia-- annnd loving it! Just saying.. Anyway, in book four, <u>Prince Caspian</u>, after winning a battle to rightfully claim his throne back from his evil uncle, King Miraz, Caspain appears before the awed and feared Aslan. Aslan asks Caspian if he feels himself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia. Caspain answers "I- I don't think I do, Sir." Aslan answers, "Good. If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not." Aslan then names him King of Narnia.<br />
<br />
Simply stated, slowly I am being persuaded to take my gaze off of myself. I am able to see that there are many people who experience pain, loss, and face things in life they never dreamt of. I am NOT the only one. As a matter of fact, when I look at what some must face, I feel spared; blessed even. It is hard being so young, naive and blindingly egocentric. We tend to think we know everything when the truth is, the more you realize you don't know, the wiser you are becoming! <br />
<br />
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-2691112445954384182012-11-11T08:53:00.001-08:002012-11-11T08:53:27.274-08:00music for your soul<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm telling you, Justin Vernon and Sean Carey know how to pull at my heartstrings. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Between the delicate yet powerful piano voice, and their heartfelt, luminous melodies, I melt. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This video is from earlier this year, but if you haven't appreciated it yet, I highly recommend doing so.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Enjoy.</div>
<br />
<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/A9Tp5fl18Ho?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-45738285888458524922012-10-30T22:30:00.001-07:002012-10-30T22:30:53.458-07:00Ready?Growing up, I became the type of girl looking out for wondrous "signs" from God. I went to a small Christian school in junior high, and tended to take everything I learned incredibly serious. There was no joking around when it came to God. Everything was pitch black or stark white. Everything was either really good or terribly evil... I was awkward. However, to my credit, I was passionate, and serious, like I said...<br />
<br />
So, naturally with an eager, fresh mind, I was always looking out for things God could be trying to tell me. After all, a sign could be anywhere... Well today, that's changed. I'm not so eager and fresh, and honestly sometimes I feel like God is yelling at me (in His peaceful insistent way), while I blindly go on my way pretending not to listen... all the while thinking surely He's not talking to <i>me</i>. Now that you know some of my thought processes (you're welcome), I'll get to my point.<br />
<br />
The other day I was driving to work (on a Sunday, which by the way should be illegal) and I decided to listen to a radio preacher (I don't so this often). To my surprise, he was pretty good. He talked about the way we all live feeling almost sorry for ourselves because (fill in the blank), and that our troubles are simply a part of life; surprise, surprise. The focus of his sermon was asking his congregation (or ticked off lady on the way to work), if we were truly ready to become a disciple, or true follower of Christ, because well, that pretty much means giving your life to Him- your <i>whole</i> life. It means throwing off anything that hinders us and serving for the Kingdom and His name... scary. The coincidence is, that I helped residents were I work to their Church service, and out pastor preached on the EXACT SAME THING.<br />
<br />
Whether God orchestrated that specifically for me or not, it got me thinking. What <i>all</i> would I have to give up for Him? Would I be happy? Could I do the things I love? And, what exactly does all this look like? Unfortunately I don't have all the answers as of now, but I do feel a calling to pay attention; to maybe <i>try</i> to listen for His guidance, and actually pray about things in life. I think that maybe not everything has to be so horribly serious, except for loving Him- <u>first</u>. brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-5523349231177603252012-10-27T19:39:00.006-07:002012-10-30T21:55:34.986-07:00Fall Flav.<div style="text-align: center;">
I <i>had </i>to get in my yearly dose of fall flavor, here's what came of my little excursion..</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTiU4syxusJOaNfk0tDCWZrDDlZShfIBDJ7UEMPmVPawAyiX1OIA83c4xabzpvPwIxd6AWRlYSe8bpzAs_A1G5tc0oP8GeoDbs1h_039Kb8eL6PTr0zjFt_Q0etqOHxRa-g1VCqIYKuVRX/s1600/224479_525504690810255_708911234_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTiU4syxusJOaNfk0tDCWZrDDlZShfIBDJ7UEMPmVPawAyiX1OIA83c4xabzpvPwIxd6AWRlYSe8bpzAs_A1G5tc0oP8GeoDbs1h_039Kb8eL6PTr0zjFt_Q0etqOHxRa-g1VCqIYKuVRX/s200/224479_525504690810255_708911234_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AcJHVC3vNoD_YTIy8Pb385r83MhQ6YtP4z7weAvAj0LlAVjJe6TNY6xPZkCvpGxiGxISEz8AAlaphdsSrsfSoWSpnedePPiOe5LNCAGbNXaF9zSuFuUWnLFH2XtZGxiHGzLxaHJVTHkS/s1600/34ef5e481a5011e2971f22000a1f8c25_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AcJHVC3vNoD_YTIy8Pb385r83MhQ6YtP4z7weAvAj0LlAVjJe6TNY6xPZkCvpGxiGxISEz8AAlaphdsSrsfSoWSpnedePPiOe5LNCAGbNXaF9zSuFuUWnLFH2XtZGxiHGzLxaHJVTHkS/s200/34ef5e481a5011e2971f22000a1f8c25_5.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kE7Og3IX_Hz7BjElYef5nGmf3f_YWRF15A-XXSMfwPkTvyW9ovDg1Ln5zNoBpfH4Y5bHnBH2Jc1lBORT8TE-XJwzQdH8UoqPYIZYEOJdAqQ_KNNyCxfUHfXiVCY4V1W8MjJS9lblFN_-/s1600/249560_525503670810357_1894633473_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kE7Og3IX_Hz7BjElYef5nGmf3f_YWRF15A-XXSMfwPkTvyW9ovDg1Ln5zNoBpfH4Y5bHnBH2Jc1lBORT8TE-XJwzQdH8UoqPYIZYEOJdAqQ_KNNyCxfUHfXiVCY4V1W8MjJS9lblFN_-/s200/249560_525503670810357_1894633473_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0ewQKp4FRpjpAA8vNSWWmOfqrp8V1fNFaZ_Rmz14cVgytRaGgaT4edmaMSGL5sQFkvU5lYq8CjKpk5m4yUgvFfN07h0PUnqEXdKwURObAGAU5JZtgtYXwV0QlYBBmXnXt_sxoJYlZIAI/s1600/578635_525504117476979_1988270733_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0ewQKp4FRpjpAA8vNSWWmOfqrp8V1fNFaZ_Rmz14cVgytRaGgaT4edmaMSGL5sQFkvU5lYq8CjKpk5m4yUgvFfN07h0PUnqEXdKwURObAGAU5JZtgtYXwV0QlYBBmXnXt_sxoJYlZIAI/s200/578635_525504117476979_1988270733_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikDzVmIMNNmId_dpQAxolsJxt4AncG55q9PrHPISEBiRpWpWZ4SNDK2nLnGtryGPNMQ7l5gsD0bnup4gZ2b5C4bGtDh4UFUlX5JcoTp97Kij9npzxaNYgJ9f2qA1jJBqHY5tbRKv1gq-Rn/s1600/a8cefa58161d11e2b46022000a1e9de2_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikDzVmIMNNmId_dpQAxolsJxt4AncG55q9PrHPISEBiRpWpWZ4SNDK2nLnGtryGPNMQ7l5gsD0bnup4gZ2b5C4bGtDh4UFUlX5JcoTp97Kij9npzxaNYgJ9f2qA1jJBqHY5tbRKv1gq-Rn/s200/a8cefa58161d11e2b46022000a1e9de2_5.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38ZdcDhVUBrAJun0GcQpW1pcCornBwu5yUk4unQCxM1NQbfMhsq7SDNkeFnHLIi2ECWHpUR73oO1c9nTti7W5Luh0Vp64Om-QVYxkVP1OEx4QUfhBLexVlIij1Ik5yO1iLiHF7EPNYnST/s1600/mail.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38ZdcDhVUBrAJun0GcQpW1pcCornBwu5yUk4unQCxM1NQbfMhsq7SDNkeFnHLIi2ECWHpUR73oO1c9nTti7W5Luh0Vp64Om-QVYxkVP1OEx4QUfhBLexVlIij1Ik5yO1iLiHF7EPNYnST/s200/mail.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlUdlEDDjQNnnupmdRb5qYS7_xgKg5d-OzBds7kTODwcb8bBTsvA7XW3A4s0FM4eSOx4asDmZqHtJsXvN67Cc1eQ7Y2ahW6FAD_0SWJ3RJL8hy6Og95IXFqhzmnVzbAn-wfoUSdw6sdHih/s1600/mail-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlUdlEDDjQNnnupmdRb5qYS7_xgKg5d-OzBds7kTODwcb8bBTsvA7XW3A4s0FM4eSOx4asDmZqHtJsXvN67Cc1eQ7Y2ahW6FAD_0SWJ3RJL8hy6Og95IXFqhzmnVzbAn-wfoUSdw6sdHih/s200/mail-2.jpeg" width="149" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaly5ZWCbBvimphmrYrbfYQF2rLg7UflZ2ntai18FQHAdst4aBn4zUKN9gYe2UUMOmsRq962x0j88pE87KXhQkrLGegRwfJpY4xql1eExdQH7MzeToJYAVNHDCkp3xrlFZKpBlRA1lFBpS/s1600/mail-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaly5ZWCbBvimphmrYrbfYQF2rLg7UflZ2ntai18FQHAdst4aBn4zUKN9gYe2UUMOmsRq962x0j88pE87KXhQkrLGegRwfJpY4xql1eExdQH7MzeToJYAVNHDCkp3xrlFZKpBlRA1lFBpS/s200/mail-1.jpeg" width="149" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBXdzWvsu2cRZVaQfIHRhHM0dx3zWJWuDG9dAOo6cXePqJE6cI-6p88Ng_VF0LBVPwzcqgAvjpgDNMl0bPcbU_OHtaiKdlhuhXmt9BZpxY8SjxYVm4imIP145ob6X80bfjMEWu4CU7dcG/s1600/mail-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBXdzWvsu2cRZVaQfIHRhHM0dx3zWJWuDG9dAOo6cXePqJE6cI-6p88Ng_VF0LBVPwzcqgAvjpgDNMl0bPcbU_OHtaiKdlhuhXmt9BZpxY8SjxYVm4imIP145ob6X80bfjMEWu4CU7dcG/s200/mail-3.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Needless to say, it was a good time :)</div>
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-67259542080385833282012-10-27T19:02:00.001-07:002012-10-30T21:58:01.183-07:00No more rocks!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There is something so bittersweet about new beginnings. Some things will always stay the same, and some things, you guessed it, won't...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
As I begin a new life in Dallas, Texas of all places, I am forced to have time alone. Time to reflect, and be honest with myself. Time for some reckoning. I've done some wrestling. Over the past two years, I've made a home, if only briefly, in 5 different cities. With each transition, I am forced to rely less on my surroundings, and more on myself; and hopefully, more on God.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Some say things can only get better after you reach "rock bottom." Well, I'm afraid it has taken God slowly dragging my sorry bum across rock bottom for me to finally say to myself, "Hey.. something isn't right here." I have joked with a certain pang of sad truth that while others touch bottom and propel upward, I have been caught in a trend of bouncing from what I thought was bottom to an even deeper abyss of ouch. Figuratively speaking, my butt is raw. I should probably start standing up again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
How does one do this you say? I'm still figuring it out, but I do know now that it involves learning to let go of even the tightest pulls in your chest, and thinking less about oneself... I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm learning to at least admire the trees.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Almost every new place I move to I find myself asking, "What am I doing here again?" And then I make a home, and friends, and God moves with me and does some cool things, and I'm better again. Sometimes it feels like I'm playing that trust game with God; you know, the one where one person stands behind you, and you have to close your eyes, hope they catch you, and fall back into their arms. Of course, He's a good catcher, but every time is a new fear to face.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
On the bright side, I am learning so much. I'm learning a new meaning to the word "grace," and "humility," oh, and of course, "rock bottom.":) I've had the pleasure of sharing experiences with many people, and learned a lot through them. One silly analogy that someone told me comes to mind. He told me that when we experience difficult or challenging times, to think of it as mining for gold. The deeper you go/dig, and the harder things get, the more gold you will have in the end.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
I have also appreciated Eleanor Roosevelt's quote: " Every time you meet a situation you think at the time is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It seems, that freedom, is not free.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Surrender however, is proving to be endlessly rewarding.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
As of late, I have been meditating on this:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">" Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">-Sarah Ban Breathnach</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
However much I desire to have control of my life, I am painstakingly learning that I can't, and that it is </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">probably</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> better that way.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
So, here's to discovering the mercy in surrender, learning to admire the "trees" in the woods, and landing on something nice and fluffy- something nice on the buns. :)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
<br />
</span><br />
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-52309362244390449432012-09-17T20:42:00.000-07:002012-11-11T09:18:57.414-08:00ramblings..I always have so much running through my brain that I want to share and then I look at this blank page and get so intimidated!<br />
<br />
Sometimes I feel that it is so hard to put into words what one really feels or thinks about. To write for me is to slow down, to study, and reflect.. So I guess I'll start with what is on my mind now.<br />
<br />
Anger. I have read and fully agree that "anger is the anesthetic of the mind." -C.S. Lewis. Out of it we build walls of self-protection and subsequently begin to hurt others out of it. Anger blinds us to anything else but what has hurt us, and allows us to lose sight of what is ultimately important. Even if our anger is just, it does not set us, or the other party, free.<br />
This is what I have been discovering...<br />
<br />
It sucks that most of the time we learn the hard way. I sometimes wish that I was perfect, not lacking in understanding, self control, or wisdom. But here I am, trekking thought this messy life the hard way. Hurting myself, and others, hoping deeply that somehow I am saved by His grace.<br />
<br />
However, once the anger dies down, and forgiveness begins to take root, isn't the truth that all we really want is redemption and reconciliation? Don't we simply long for peace and unity? All hippie talk aside, I realize that all I truly desire is His will.. whatever that is.. to mold my life. I am a shifting sand without His forgiving, guiding hand in my life.<br />
<br />
<br />
On completely different note, a good friend and I discovered a sweet new little place to study in downtown Dallas... it's a small picture but isn't it cute?! I thought so too.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2R77Xpt036rjdTDPaeEnXPTSDwMa0O3pwnQcJb_gBtxamISmdwUtyZ5GdS69sCueqnfHsjyQ4dNbcDboaRqGGf9-O-Jqb4b6gCoSykL8U2B4pqdfkr0LIPqOJCSr4seSGGA57-c1kvsf/s1600/mail.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz2R77Xpt036rjdTDPaeEnXPTSDwMa0O3pwnQcJb_gBtxamISmdwUtyZ5GdS69sCueqnfHsjyQ4dNbcDboaRqGGf9-O-Jqb4b6gCoSykL8U2B4pqdfkr0LIPqOJCSr4seSGGA57-c1kvsf/s1600/mail.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162864068233029436.post-92210457113146297952012-09-05T11:42:00.002-07:002012-11-11T09:13:55.881-08:00It's September.. !Oh me oh my, fall time is around the corner once again, and I must write. Fall is by far one of my favorite seasons... I am so excited for fall color, scents and flavors! And speaking of seasons changing, I am now getting nestled into a new surrounding, a new home- Dallas. The city is big, and a little intimidating, but I am excited to find my little niches. My lovely friends, Mark and Rebekah Wampler have graciously welcomed me into their home, and I now have a new biggest fan- Davie, their loving pup.<br />
<br />
So, here I am, yet another move, another change.. I am learning that in the midst of the swirling chaos of a storm, I might as well position myself in the eye, seek what peace I can, and wait it out.. At some point the storm has to subside, and the rebuilding will hopefully be stronger than before.<br />
<br />
It's funny really, even in the darkest hour, during the most incredible storm, little rays of hope and love show themselves. For instance, being in Dallas, I will be able to help my cousin and his wife with their new little baby girl. I will be their closest family. I have been graced with the opportunity to re-kindle precious friendships and make some pretty awesome new ones. God graces me with love even when I feel like I don't deserve it or want it, without restraint. He loves even the ugliest, most wretched me I can be, He loves <i>me</i>.brennanicholehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13407295409281904079noreply@blogger.com0