Monday, November 7, 2016

Mushroom Man.

One lonely Monday (I have Sundays/ Mondays off), following a breath-taking, and frosty hike up to Hope Lake, nestled between Telluride and Silverton, Colorado, I decided to try out a natural hot springs I'd heard of outside of Rico. I use my handy-dandy GPS, park, and being a planner this time, change into my swim suit and take the chilly walk to the springs. I'm alone at this point, and it is lovely... I may have tried the skinny dipping thing because, hello, I'm in the mountains in a natural hot springs- alone. But thankfully I get a feeling its time to put it back on- just in time for a STRANGE looking couple to walk up. I try to avoid calling people weird or strange because, who am I to talk? But I mean these ones were borderline scary... Thankfully, they decided to try back later. Whew, dodged that one..

Five minutes later, I am joined by a seemingly friendly gentleman in his late 30s/ early 40s. I have a cap on, so as he undresses across the springs, I keep it tipped downward to avoid being an unashamed and complete creeper. I watch clothes drop around his ankles, wondering what exactly is in store for me. He walks over to the pool, and as he descends, I can't help but notice his very bare buns. "Alright, this is a little awkward considering it's just he and I, but at least the water covers him," I think to myself. After introducing ourselves and beginning to chat for a bit, he apparently becomes warm and decides to prop himself along the ledge of the pool. Now, as easy as it would be to lay an arm across his leg, or position himself in a slightly more conservative manner, this man had to show his pride and joy by sitting with one leg propped up side-saddle style. Whilst attempting to not look directly at his now buoyantly floating member, seemingly waving hello to me with every gentle wave, I continue chatting with the man, also attempting to not notice his not-quite-discreet-enough attempt to warm his member with a quick and fluid swipe of the hand, swishing warm water over the thing, as the air had a slight bite to it. This pattern continued in 5 minute cycles, always with the same sitting position. The best part to all of this though, was his continuous musings about mushrooms. He explained that he grew mushrooms, hunted mushrooms, and shared with interested pupils his wealth of knowledge about this extraordinary fungi. I had to laugh to myself at one point, as I could not help but think, "This man won't shut up about mushrooms, and I only wish he'd kindly put his away."