the trouble with trouble

Ahhh Ray.. He knows how to soothe the soul.

So, the trouble with trouble is..

Well, I don't really have a straight answer for that, but I do know that for some reason, when it rains, it pours. And it seems that trouble has a lurking shadow. So what is our part in this? Do we contribute to this downward spiral at times? I believe so. No, I know so.

I will be battling within throughout this post because, well.. you'll soon understand.

Throughout some of my time spent with my elderly friends, I have come to the realization that everyone will go though some sort of trouble in their lifetime. Some much more than others, but nonetheless, everyone will have their woes.

Let me share how I have responded to mine. In few words, I can describe my behavior much like a child throwing a tantrum. Kicking and screaming, blaming others at times, intent on being unhappy and miserable no matter what anyone does for me, and believing that the world is out to get me. Pretty pathetic right? Here's why things are so difficult.. 

I am a human. I don't like things to hurt. Sometimes, an aching pain can make one feel like they are going to lose it. I yearn for understanding; to feel like I don't suffer alone. Anger is usually, if not always, a cover for a stinging wound. When a person is hurt, it can change the way they view the world, at least for some time. It is easy for resentment to set in. And, let's be honest, we all screw up, but who wants to deal with feelings of guilt and regret? They can be unbearable! This is why I struggle in writing this- because I am attempting to kick my own butt with my own wounded "foot". 

I think it's so important to talk, and write and pray about these things so that they do not have the opportunity to fester, and get horribly infected and ugly. No one is perfect, so we must learn to forgive others and ourselves in order to let God use us and to simply move on. We all need understanding.

I still struggle with stigmas. I wish people were more open to talking about their struggles, their heartache. How much more could we help each other if we destroyed our own walls and opened ourselves up to support and healing? Vulnerability is hard, I know. But we get so much farther with it.